Coffee Date No. 1

If we were on a coffee date, I would whine about how it hurts to drink anything. I somehow wound up with an ulcer on the back of my throat for the past week, and there's nothing to do but rest and try not to cry, because crying makes the pain worse. I'd tell you that I get mouth ulcers all the time and they're the bane of my existence, but I would tell you that this one is the worst I've ever experienced. And I'd probably want a hug or a sympathetic look.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask you who you cheer for. Baseball consumes my summer, though I've only been hardcore into it for about a year. I'd ask you if there is anything, or anyone, in your life that makes you stand up and cheer, that makes you heartbroken when they lose, that captivates your attention like mine at a baseball game.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask about how you manage your money. I know it might be a little too personal but I would want to know if you have a budget or if you just trust your spending habits enough to go without. After 4 months of unemployment, Brandon and I just stared at each other when we got his first paycheck. We wondered what this foreign object was and what we should do with it. We want to save for a home, we want to travel, we want to give, but we're struggling to figure out a rhythm.

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that I'm scared. I would tell you that big change is happening in my life. I would tell you that I'm scared to graduate. I'm scared to become an adult with a 9 to 5 because I feel like I'm going to lose my freedom, a part of who I am. I would tell you that Brandon and I are considering committing a huge chunk of our time to a ministry that I'm not sure that I can do. I know God is calling us to a certain area but I'm trying to avoid His voice and tender words drawing me to my best life, because I'm scared I'm not good enough to what He's calling me to.

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that my blog is doing really well. I wouldn't say that to brag, I would say that because it concerns me. Two sponsored posts of mine were chosen to receive a Facebook ad by the companies I worked for and it's driven a ton of traffic to my site. You would probably tell me this was wonderful and amazing and high-five me. But I would look down at my drink and admit that I'm out of ideas, creativity, that I feel I've lost my voice. I feel that I have nothing worthwhile to say anymore, I feel burnt-out and worried that I'll never feel motivated or inspired again.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask you where you find your body confidence. I would tell you that yesterday I went to the pool and didn't get any f's about what I looked like. I know that I've been eating clean and working out 5x a week and when I felt the worry sneak over me about what I would look like and that I didn't look good enough in bathing suit, I told that voice to shut up and that I work hard and I deserve some time to go play because I've been treating my body respectfully and right for the first time in a while.

I am linking up withAmber and Erin today!