How Unemployment Mended Our Marriage

I hope you never have to hear those words. 

I hope your stomach never has to sink.

I hope you never have to be speechless and you look into your man's tired yet strong eyes. I hope you never have to find the words to reassure him it's okay when you have no clue if it's going to be.

 I hope your husband never walks in the door and sits  you down and tells you he's been fired. 

I hope you never have to. But maybe you will. Because I did. So if you have to hear those words one day, and your hands shake as your heart drops and the tears fall, this one is for you. 

A week and a half before Christmas, my husband was fired from his job over something stupid, menial--a really stupid miscommunication. This would be a punch in the gut for anyone but what makes this more complicated is that currently, I'm a full-time student and my husband is our only source of income. 

When he told me, I couldn't believe it. We didn't see it coming.
What would we do? Who would we tell? How would we get through this? 

It took a few days to digest those words, to let them sink in, to realize what they actually meant. I had so many questions and zero answers. 

Because when something like this happens, something out of your control and bigger than yourself, you can't find answers here. You have to look Up. 

So I prayed and I looked Up and my heart felt angry and betrayed and I wondered how God could let something like this happen to our small, brand new family. Barely 7 months past our wedding day, the day I vowed for better or worse, for richer or poorer. 

For richer or poorer.  It rung in my head. 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turn into months. No word from his former employer on an appeal. No word from potential new employers. No word from Unemployment. I felt forgotten. And scared. Because it's scary to not know how you'll pay your rent next month. A month came and went, and we still had no more direction than when we started. 

But through this mess, there is a blessing. Our lives have begun to change. 

We spent more time together.  
My husband worked for an awesome, yet demanding company. They required long days and long weeks. The only day they closed was Christmas, so for the first years we were dating, we never got to spend holidays together, because he always had to work. When we first got married, this put a huge strain on our marriage, and we truly saw each other less than when we were dating. But when he lost his job, suddenly, every day was a Saturday, and while we were stressed and fought a ton in the first week or two, it was great to actually see him everyday. 

We completely revamped our budget.
When you drastically have to cut back on your spending, you start to wonder where your money really goes, and why. We have been able to sit down and actually look at excess spending. We've made financial goals and changed we want to implement when we're back on our feet. 

We revealed HUGE issues in our marriage.
When you spend more time together and have more time together, you're bound to talk more. When you have more time together and are in a very stressful situation, you start to fight more. But fighting can be good when it shows you how to better your communication skills and talk about underlying issues. We are so much stronger for this conversation. 

We looked at where we spent our time.
Once you go from having no time together, to having all the time together, you really start to wonder how you want to budget your time. We started to look at the amount of time we waste behind screens, time we waste inside when we could be outside hiking and exploring. We started looking at the time we were spending alone versus the amount of time we are pouring into other people. So we've begun to limit our screen time, getting out of the house more and spending more time with other people. 

e grew closer.
When something so scary happens, you realize all you have in this life is each other. We're the only people than can relate to this situation because we're the only two going through it. We've had to cling onto each other and God as we try to figure this out. 

We've found out who is really there for us.
This has been an incredibly scary and tough time, and we have been amazed at the people who have truly stepped up and cared for us. Whether it was being sensitive to our situation by suggesting free double dates, dropping off little gifts to make us laugh, being willing to ask questions that may feel awkward, or simply just texting to see how we're doing, we've felt so loved by the people that care about us. 

Typically, I would wait to post this until I have a nice answer, a happy ending, a nicely wrapped story with an ending that makes you smile. But I don't have that yet. But I know it's coming. So for now, we're holding onto hope and we're learning valuable lessons from this season of life. And if you're going through something similar, I pray you find comfort in such priceless lessons I'm sure you're learning too.

If you're going through something similar, hold tight to each other. You're all you've got so don't let money come between you. Hold onto God because He has a plan and is the Giver of good things, even if it doesn't seem like it. And know that others have gone before you and we're cheering you on.

e got this.